Karingal 4hr Enduro - Dave Nearly Killed By Dinosaur

Sneaky dinosaur eats my chippies and nearly devours me.

My first event in Aussie was the Karingal 4hr Enduro. I entered the SS class and hoped to not embarrass myself too much and had a goal of riding consistently and finishing. Lofty goals for my extra light riding regimen.

There were quite a lot of people. About 140 entrants, a mixture of teams and solos. I did a pre-ride of the 7km course which was a bit tiring. It was good dry singletrack with no real climbs. Just regular pinches and short efforts. Nothing where you had to settle in. I thought I would go fairly quick at the start and see how I got on.



I took off quick and joined in with the shaved racerboys, sitting in about 12th overall. I was swinging along pretty well and was leading the SS class by a few minutes after 3 laps. One of the pinch climbs was steep and out in the open. It was baking me every time. I kept chanting "I am a solar panel, I am a solar panel" in an effort to convert the heat to energy. Didn't work.

I wiped out in a fast rocky corner on lap four and rolled into the scrub where in my mind, 1000 snakes and spiders were looking for a meal. I cut the sidewall of my tire on a rock in the process. So I sat at the side of the track with sweat dripping off my ears, nose, elbows, knees etc fixing a puncture and trying to patch the cut with tree bark and gum leaves, so the inner tube wouldn't poke out and flat again. I got going after a few long minutes and three nasty bites from inch long red ants (more near death per the title) I called them the c-word very loudly. It still hurt a lap later. At least it wasn't a crocodile.


Entirely predictable breakdown of my organic tire reinforcement. Fortunately the cut never let the tube through anyway.


I joked that 84 was my lucky number at rego. The lady asked if it was because it was my birth year. I love her.

I got going again and went quickly through a lot of riders who had passed me. I eased up a little to deal with the heat. Then I flatted again. Bad luck for sure. Two flats are quite rare. I've not flatted twice in a row for years. I was out. No more tubes. Very hot hike back in from the back of the course. Bugger.



Still a good outing and an opportunity to meet new people and ride some good trails. Next year if I get the chance, I will do a bit of training for it and try and smash the whole 4hrs and win my class. The course suited me. It was a shame to have the problems.

I hung out with the team from Fortheriders, which is a very good shop here who are involved in all the races. Their mechanic, Shaun, is also the Yeti World team mechanic and as his team mate, he had Jared Graves, former UCI 4X World Champ. It was interesting talking to him. He was superfast XC too. Those guys are not just good at jumps. Apparently 4X is not a UCI event now, so he is focusing on DH.

Not sure when I will next be racing. I am quite keen to try a bit of surfing. When in Rome...

Looking forward to getting a trail ride in at Daisy Hill tomorrow. To get it done before our trip to the Gold Coast I have to head out at 4am. I'll be first into the trails and will clear the cobwebs for the rest of the day's riders. I look forward to hastily scraping them off my face and trying not to imagine what is attached. No doubt more near death blogging to follow.

Cheers
Dave

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Tigs new Tiger ride and the PNP MTB rap!!!

Wood is the new Carbon Baby!!!

Well as Angry has pointed out the Elite course in the PNP race in the weekend was "mean as!!!!" Mamoth Climbs, Fast descents and schweeeet single track.

Now I could babble on about what KWs of power I was putting out to the rear wheel while chatting to the likes of Brendan Sharratt (Legendary Tour Of Southland KOM podium roadie), monitoring my calorie uptake and internal temperature... but I am not going to (because I would not know any of these stats :)
NB: For stats similar to these, please speak to our resident Elite rider Clive Bushlove Bennett.

Seeing as I ended any possibilities of a podium in the elite category about half way through my race with a flat tyre, I thought I would write about the perfect day and beers after the race. Was great to have a big turn out of Bushlove and Clan with Nick K making the trip up from Christchurch with Wife Sarah, Mono Sifty Dave Sharpe (Just there for a sifty ride...Yeah Right), Angry Bennett (Full time Elite rider), Wonny Jaghorn and better half Belinda The Burglar and Ed (riding his lazyboy).

Right so to tie off loose ends, thanks to all the support from friends and family (Especially my fantastically supportive wife and 2 wonderful kids Tyler & Logan who allow me to get out on the dreaded bikes). Massif ups to On Yer Bike for tinkering with my rides and supporting me (No rude at all that sentence). Niner Bikes for putting me in the cockpit of the quickest bike I have ever ridden, the Niner Air 9 Carbon (pity the pilot is a little old and slow :)

Stoked to have the Masters 1 category sewn up before race 5, giving me the chance to race the big boys in the final round. Cheers to all those in the Masters 1 cat who kept me honest Karl Paterson (side kick burglar) and Hiskey (ole fella and thorn in my side ;)

OK cereal now... PNP 2011 out of the way and I'm in "ok" form for the Taupo Huka XL race next weekend. Not sure if I am more excited about the beers after or getting out on the Niner again Mmmmm

While this is the hottest and under some motors fastest hardtail 29er on the market, there is one small fail in this photo... Those in the know will have already realized I failed in my photography/elite class, where you should NEVER take a photo of a bike while it is NOT in the Dawg...:( (Big chain ring up front)

Compulsory Bushlove graphics - Mint!

Mmmmm Carbon purity

Keep an eye out there for the Bushlove colors in the odd Triathon and definitely the Xterra (Offroad Triathlon) next April. Swimming is going great, running too but am just a little concerned about my riding ability :)

Cheers
Tigs

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No country for old men.

Heres the blow by blow from Pro Elite Round 5 of the most excellent PNP Race series in Wellington,

Hardout race start up from Mud Cycles in Karori, was myself (after putting in my usual stupid smash it till you blow race start) followed by Sharrit, Tiger and Fitzwell into Landsdowne, Sharrit and Tiger passed me and I entered into Salvation followed by Fitzwell.

Picture stolen without permission from Dave Grahame


Around rollercoaster some close racing with Sharrit and Tiger out front followed by myself Fitzwell and McCarthy making a show.

Up the big road climbs to top of Tip Track was Tiger, Sharrit then about 100m back myself followed by Fitzwell and McCarthy, Fitzwell put in a big move and screamed past me with an actual scream.

Tiger took the lead from Sharrit till the gate barrier down to red rocks where Sharrit flatted, McCarthy passed me just before the gate and beat me into the new singletrack to redrocks, however I took advantage of local knowledge and line choice and past McCarthy pulling out about a decent gap as there are a couple of tricky sections through there requiring careful pre gear selection to avoid walking, namely the bridge.

From Red Rocks and around the coast I could see Fitzwell who had caught Tiger about 50m ahead of me, Tiger also politely flatted, I threw him my pump and carried on in 2nd place after Fitzwell.

Onto Tip Track , Fitzwell had about 50m lead, still at that sort of distance where you think you can pull someone in, but alas, Fitzwell is a Tip Track specialist and quickly started climbing away from me, hitting Tip Track at race pace was tough and I struggled a bit and McCarthy caught me about midway.

Picture stolen without permission from Shane Wetzel



Into Barking emu I was running 3rd with new comer to the pointy end Murphy hot on my tail, Barking emu was running sweet as a nut, but excessive speed caused me to overcook a corner and I took a dive over the edge, luckily a not soo soft gorse bush broke my fall.

Into CarParts I was nervously looking back knowing I was being hunted down, my riding went haywire and I messed up a few times resulting with some off the bike moments, then some cramping, at the end of Carparts and onto RollerCoaster Murphy was about 20m behind me.

Time to pull out the big guns so I took a swig of my Raro and Cement Dust drink and gassed up the steep pinches around the coaster, ignoring the twinges of further oncoming cramp, as I wanted (needed) to hit Deliverance with a decent lead as im about as gracefull down there as a blind man in a wheelchair would be.

Into Deliverence I had a good lead over Murphy and had the best run down there I have ever had, it was slippy but the Niner asserts confidence, falsely or not I didnt care, but zero crashes and I was happy.

Onto the road I kept a nervous eye behind and could see Murphy and apparently Kennedy who materialised from nowhere leading Murphy up the road in good roadie style.
However being a tarmac specialist with a good lead I was home and hosed for 3rd place Pro Elite Men.

I look forward to boring my grandchildren in years too come of this day, (actual events may change,be enhanced or entirely left out).

Massive thanks too Niner bikes for making one of the sweetest race machines I have ever ridden!, and Burkes Cycles for their support and many last minute repairs/maintenance to my bikes.

Also special mention to Tristan from Wheelworks, for squeezing in a last minute spoke repair despite his huge workload.

Its been a great race series, PNP have put a huge amount of effort in this year and its much appreciated.

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G'day Cobbers !

Greetings from Brisbane me ole Kiwi cobbers!

Just got broadband finally so i wanted to get on and say hi. Everything going great here in ever-sunny Brisbane. A balmy 29deg today as I sit here supping my iced coffee. We are living about 6km out of the city in Coorparoo. Nice place. Ella is at school down the road and loving it. I am a stay at home Dad until we get a place for little George at kindy. Probably back at work in January.

We've done heaps and have seen a lot of cool places like Movieworld, Seaworld and are heading to Wet & Wild this weekend. We have VIP tickets and can go whenever we like. It was easy to get them - I told them I rolled with Bushlove, and they handed them over gratis. There is also an amazing park called South Bank which is a real jewel in the crown for families. We've made several new friends including the awesome families of mates of mine from when I was living in the states. Funny how things work out, but two of the legends I lived and traveled with both now live in Brisbane!


I have done a few rides including some great outings with new mate, Andy Macfarlane, who is also ex-Wellington and a good friend of The Editor's. He also helped train epic scooter rider, Angry Bennett, to get his first sub 3. The trails here are different to Wellington's. They lack hills, so any downhill is fairly short lived, and there is no 'bush', mostly dry scrub and gum trees. But that not to say there is no good riding at all. The singletracks I have ridden at the Gap and Daisy Hill have all been great and have been well maintained by the local 'trail care' groups. I wish there was a lot more altitude, rock, roots and wetness. But on the upside the weather is almost always outstanding, so you never get rides called off, and you never bring a spare layer (or ten).

We also hit the trails early. Not Wellington early. But Queensland early. Standard sift is a trailhead meet at 5.30am. and if I am riding out its a 4am get up. By evening I am falling asleep same time as the kids! Thing about early starts is if you are first down the trail you might be clearing cobwebs. I thrash about a lot imagining some harbinger of death is crawling down my collar whenever I hit a web, but the more common nasty is the golden orb, which although not poisonous, is still an evil chunky s.o.b and Andrew assures me I don't want to be chasing one around my jersey



What about that Six Pack ride eh?! It was an awesome outing to cap a fantastic five years of trail riding in Wellington. It was so good to see so many great people enjoying each others company, the amazing trails and a few beers. I wish we had done it more often. I hope to hear about it happening again over the summer! Sharing lulz and trail time with my buddies was certainly one of the highlights of my time in Wellington. I hope I am lucky enough to build up such a great group of friends here.



Shame about the audio track. Shambolic quick Picasa job.

I have just checked the BLR Farcebook for the first time in a couple of months and found that the lovely Rachel and Liam Drew have had their baby boy Sherlock. I was not expecting that news till December. I guess that like his father, he was a bit premature. Congratulations Rachel and Liam!!

I have my first race against the Aussies on Sunday. A popular 4 hour Enduro in which i am entering the SS class. I wonder how it will go? I think the course is not hilly and mostly has climbs we'd just think of as pinches, so I might be ok on the usual prep of no riding and too much chocolate and beer. Certainly the local trail hounds I have been riding with from the excellent shop , For The Riders, are very good and made me feel old. Fingers crossed I won't bring too much embarrassment upon the pink and black. I will report back next week. But I am sure that my race report will be beaten to publication by all the other race reports from the events I know the team have been attending!

Time to go and start marinading my kangaroo steaks for dinner. No shit. I really am. Yum.

Cheers
Dave

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Bushlove Quasi elites beaten

Quick News bulletin.......
Bushloves XC Vet Whippets get outclimbed by Karl "Weasel" Patterson. Then as an Ex Pro-elite dh'er should he rides away from them on the descents. Shame on the "elite" xc whippets of Bushlove lore, for they have been diminished by a fast talking hyperactive ex downhiller, shame!!!!!

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The Spartan shower scene they never showed...

After a dirty/muddy day of racing around Mt Vic in the PNP Champs, we were all pleased to find they had showers to clean off in:

Seriously though. Bushlove have been together now for ~3 yrs and are more like a family than an over rated bunch of lazy bikers. When ever anyone of us is in need of some pick me up or good old banter, the team is there for them. I mean just the other day I mentioned to my fellow BL'ers that I had this annoying Copacabana song in my head, when suddenly out of the kindness of their hearts, Waggers and Belinda made new lyrics to this song to ensure it was PERMANENTLY etched into my brain... and am sure this will most likely pop back into my head at the most inopportune moment (about half way through Taupo Huka Challenge or even worse... date night) Thanks guys... &*!!!#%&*@*^#%

So it Was PNP Mountain Bike race #2:
Mt Vic has to be one of my favorite race locations for many a reason. But most of all the fact that it is such a good spectators course. Every time I rode through the velodrome I would hear the roar of friends or even better Lil T (Daughter Tyler), Big L (Son Logan) and my Lovely Wife cheering me on "Go Daddy Go, Go Daddy Go" Sometimes up to 10 people chanting this out... Huh!!! am sure last time I checked I had only fathered 2 children...

In typical Veledrome style and missing the usual Slacky, someone had to race off the front only to be rolled on the first up hill. This time it was Angry Hundy Bennett off like a rotten egg. As the race went on the course got slipperier and slipperiririer. Giving me more and more excuses for a lay down in the bushes. 5 in total I counted, that's more lays than a George Michael pajama party.
Thanks to Trent Bellingham for the pic:

I won't go into full detail, but the essence of the Masters category went something like this. Tiger to the top of the hill, Angry close behind, Palmy Burglar (Weasel - Karl Paterson) chasing hard but in podium still. Tiger down the hill, Weasel close on his heels, Angry stopping to pick daisies. Tiger to the top again, Angry finished picking daisies and steamed up behind with Weasel watching from a distance . Lap after lap this went on till the finishing order was sorted. Tiger, Angry and then Weasel.

Was great to see out of towners coming down from the likes of Palmy for a bit of mud slinging and to keep us locals on our toes.

Big thanks to all the organisers and marshals for getting out on this wet glorious day to make this event happen, special thanks to Marco for bringing along his hose. Never have there been so many men and the odd women flailing the God Fathers Hose around.

Thanks to Trent Bellingham for the pic:

To top my weekend off, Ozzy had bean beaten in the Rugby the day before and I was nicely wine'd up and tiddly sitting in front of France Vs Canada Rugby.

Till the next race :)
Tigs

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"His name was Tiger" sing-a-long

His name was Tiger, he was a biker
With pink panelled shorts and matching shirt cut down to there
He would pedal, and do a wheelie
And while he tried to be a star, Hundy always set the bar
Along a muddy trail, they biked from 8 till 4
They were young(ish) and they had each other
Who could ask for more?

At the Mountain (Mount!), Mount Victor-i-a (Victor-i-a)
The hottest spot north of Makara (here)
At the Mountain (Mount!), Mount Victor-i-a
Peddling and skidding were always the bidding
At the Mountain....they had some lols

(Mount Victor-i-a)

His name was Lynskey, he wore a tutu
He was escorted to the trail, he saw Tiger bikin' there
And when he finished, he called him over
But Lynskey went a bit too far, Hundy sailed across the bar
And then the crank bolts flew and egos were smashed in two
There was blood and sweat and tears
But just who roosted who?

At the Mountain (Mount!), Mount Victor-i-a (Victor-i-a)
The hottest spot north of Makara (here)
At the Mountain (Mount!), Mount Victor-i-a
Peddling and skidding were always the bidding
At the Mountain....they had some lols

(Mount. . Victor-i-a)
(Mount Victor-i-a) (Victor-i-a, ahh ahh ahh ahh)
(Ahh ahh ahh ahh Mount Victor-i-a)
(Talking Makara have a banana)
(Peddling and skidding... always the bid--ding)

His name is Tiger, he was a biker
But that was many years ago, when they used to rule a show
Now it's a bike race, but not for tiger
Still in the shirt he used to wear, and faded pink shorts with a tear
He sits there so refined, and he drinks to unwind
He lost his youth and he lost his Hundy
Now he's lost his mind!

At the Mountain (Mount!), Mount Victor-i-a (Victor-i-a)
The hottest spot north of Makara (here)
At the Mountain (Mount!), Mount Victor-i-a
Peddling and skidding were always the bidding
At the Mountain....don't fall over

(Mountain) don't fall over
Victor-i-a
Victor-i-a

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Baggy Sifter Wins Wainui PNP!

Thanks Nigel Sanders

Thanks Andy Woodwark

Rather than the traditional Makara Peak location, the first round of the 2011 PNP R&R Sport Spring Series was held as the fabulous Wainuiomata trails last Sunday.

It was a good sized field and a great day. The trails were running superbly. The new Towhai Traverse was an excellent addition, requiring some good flow (Floe?) to navigate at speed. 491 and Beeline were also running really well, and everyone was raving afterwards about the fun they had. Apart from the large contingent of Snr Men who didn’t read the directions or signs and missed a loop and DNF’d. Lulz.
Thanks Nigel Sanders

Bushlove had a stormer day. Summary of results for us as follows:

Elite – Ed ‘Fastest Man’ Crossling. Turned up to sift. But won. First Elite win in baggy shorts to our knowledge.

Snr Women – Wonderwoman Burgess in 2nd

Snr Men – Win by Whacko Jacko. SS Style

M1 Women – Belinda “Lustinator” De Mayo – 3rd

M1 – Win from Tiger in a sprint. Davo 3rd, SS Style.

M2 – Totally unexpected domination from the gun by The Hundernator, Angry Clive. Wonny.J in 5th

Some commentary from the BLR contingent. They each had 20 word. Where not supplied they may or may not be fake:

Tiger Keith:

Karl tried to burgle a burglar. Kept me honest for the last lap. The roadie in me won sprint finish.

Thanks Andy Woodwark

[Ed - Outside his 20 word limit, but will include anyway] Full credit to wives, children and butlers for their support.

Crossling Jnr:

After month eating crap in UK, worked it all off with good hit out on some sweet single track.

Clive ‘Always has a hundy’ Bennett:

Usual smash from start race plan. Will unlock fork for downhills next time. An unexpected win for me.

Thanks Andy Woodwark

Wonny Jaghorn:

Good work team. I was off my game today. I'll be back.

Ashley:

My humps, my humps, my humps, my humps, my lovely lady lumps, check em out.

Thanks Nigel Sanders

Belinda:

I could have won, but I dropped back to help pace Wonny up the Rollercoaster climb. He’s so slack.

Thanks Andy Woodwark

Davo:

Got beaten up climb by M3s! Dealt to them in the trees. Same time as Clive!

Thanks Andy Woodwark

Whacko Jacko Master of the Stacko:

I took the lead using a Whacko Stacko and surfed Spoonhill on my low friction head. I shave my palms.

File shot from Bareback.com



Thanks to the PNP MTB Crew and the WTP trail builders for their dedication and attention to detail. What a magnificent venue. See you at Mt Vic.

Thanks Trent Bellingham

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The Munter

The course, a 29km showcase of some of Wellingtons best scenery.

For those unfamiliar with the Mukamuka Munter, it is a trail run, and I use the word "run" in my case to mean a slightly faster then walking and slower then a jog. If you want to know more about the event visit the excellent better than TV site.

Statz

Attending: Big Al, Sam and 50 odd other folk

Max Altitude: 550m

Temperature: It's the middle of freaking winter out the back of the nui, cold, with a side serving of cold.

Mandatory Gear list: Extensive

A chilly start followed by a pleasurable trot for 12km round the coast. Running over some pretty awe inspiring vistas. Very sorry I did not take some pictures. At that point I was shivering and worrying.

Al had stormed off into the far distance, so I settled back to chat with a couple of folk while we ambled towards the Mukamuka entrance. I was in concentration mode, as this is a one way event you really do not want to slip and injure. I have borrowed a photo from race organizer Shane Ross.

Once we got into the valley things got serious! Boulder jumping became the sport of choice. And after the 40th river crossing, keeping on my feet was the main aim. The valley had taken a battering with all the water that had come down. Again another photo from Shanes excellent pre race briefing information. The organization behind this was excellent.

Heading up the the saddle became more about finding a route then running. However once the saddle was obtained… The view was awesome. I took the time to take a few pics, and by that point I had finally caught Al and we got to have a chat.

And eat some snow....

Before heading off to finish the climb.

After losing a few places we headed for the high spot and the joys of the extremely steep decent. I wish I had taken photos. Running through knee deep snow in places. It was stunning. A real winter wonderland. However, it did not do to lose focus. Check out the elevation chart in the first image and you can see how quick we got to the bottom! Slippy fun.

Heading out onto the Orongorongo river, I was by myself, and wishing I wasn't. Keen direction sense is not my strong point. I got a little lost in the scale of the river basin, trotting along, figuring down was good. It came as a mighty relief to see another one of the fine marshals standing at the trail head.

The Orongorongo trail is certainly a fine bit of single track. But after 20+km of hip/knee smashing terrain I was not in the frame of mind to appreciate it fully. The knowledge of my thermos of hot chocolate in my car was burning a hole in my brain.

However the body held up and I even managed to claim a few extra places on the way to the finish.

I would rate this run above the Tararua Traverse for sheer beauty now I have finally done both.

Al did a sterling job on finishing. Not bad for a first time effort with the largest trail run to date only being half the distance we completed today. I had the advantage on Al having completed a few of these kinds of events before. Knowing what you are in for is a big help.

The marshals were incredible. Sterling effort for them to have been out there. I tried my best to thanks them, but I am sure at times it came out like some drunken slur.

Amazing day, I would recommend it to anyone.

Sam (aka the now rooted Rammer)

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Welly Six Pack Ride - Sun 4 Sept

Attention Nutsacks

Six great Wellington Peaks, Six lagers in your pack. Lots of lulz.

Sifty, social mtb ride on Sunday 4th September.

Meeting at the Evan's Bay Wind Needle at 10am.

Miramar for Mt Crawford, pump track lulz and a lager.
Mt Vic for steep roots, city views, and a lager.
Mt Albert for views across the Straight, maybe 4X lulz and a lager.
Hawkins Hill for no lulz as it involves riding the Tip Track or maybe up Long Gully... and a lager.
Wrights Hill for a WW2 bunker lager to lube us up for Deliverance.
Makara Peak for the quintessential Wellington peak experience, and a lager.

Regular trail builders in attendance will have their beers covered by Bushlove. Email me with your preferred lager brand (which comes in cans) and it will be at the Wind Needle for you ;o)

Open to everyone. Moar the merrier. If you only feel up to certain peaks or even just one, bring the appropriate number of lagers and stay in touch on the mobile to arrange collection on route.

If drinking lager and mtbing doesn't fit your profile you can always bring alternative beverages or low alcohol lager and just do the number of press ups at the summits pre-determined by the real men in attendance.

Will consider a back up date of following weekend should weather be ridiculous.

I wonder who we'll see?

Maybe Moses?

Random chubby guy off sitcoms?

Elite Tony?

Harry Potter?



Thanks
Dave

PS - This is likely to be one of the last rides both me and Big Al Crossling get to do before we move overseas (me Brisbane, Al Vancouver) and it would be great to see some friendly faces and have a good day on the trails.

PPS - Will place this on Vorb and BLR Farcebook also as I don't have everyone's email address.

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The Perfect Sift

Wonny Jaghorn, Rammer, Elite Tony, Hundy Bennett, Lynsky, Davo, and a token asian had a drizzly rendezvous at the Wainui hill car park at 7am this morning. And after calling each other ballbags, nutsacks and other misc mocking, they headed down Beeline.

Now acclimatised with a fresh coating of trail all over our legs, backs, faces and horses, they sifted gently along to the mighty rollercoaster to remind ourselves just how awful the PNP XC start up it is. Then we slid into the Towai Traverse to admire the hard labours and handiwork of the Wainui Trail Project. Its a great trail. We thought the tight twisty character was great. And there is an inspired little bit where you can hop up a large root step or go around the tree on a track formed using a big lateral root. You'll know it when you see it. Minty. It had plenty of roots and stones which hopefully can be left in for a natural surface if it wears well enough.

Tigs dabbed his feet a few times because he spends too much time on the rod. Sorry, the road. Dave slipped past him every time as he doesn't distill his masculinity with frequent tarmac outings. Although in Tigs defense, he does race the road in mtb shoes and a peaked helmet to annoy the roadies in Scratch/A Grade.

We had to make a few pauses for banter and to wait for Rammer and Kah, who judging by the yelps of both pain and satisfaction coming from the bush, were working through some dry entries. After some entertaining gossiping along the singletrack line, we whipped down Labyrinth. It is a cracking trail in its downward guise and you can really load up the pace until you pinball between a couple of trees and take yourself out - Good job Bony Tony.

Another Beeline and everyone was well into the flow of the day and really sank their teeth into it. Great traction for such a wet day. The climb up Jungles was fast. Tones on the front. Clive reckoned he was sifting, but Tones maintained he wasn't. But Davo hung on grimly to the wheels, so it can't have been that quick.

Tony used to attend an elite school for young gifted athletes in his youth. We'll call it the ESGA. In that school was the top Elite class. In the class there was some separation to four groups. And within the most Elite group in the most Elite class in the ESGA was a secret Elite society of the most Elite athletes ever seen. Tony was the captain of that group. We can't see Tones doing well in M1 this year though.

While Dave hung on for Jungles, he got dispatched up Labyrinth along with everyone else struggling to sift while Elite Tones and Hundy Clive rode race pace + up the hill.

The rain was still holding off and after a little more jawboning, the intrepid adventurers hurled their sodden selves down 491. A little slippy across the roots and Dave took a spill, knocking the same arm as Tiger did on Labyrinth. Now they will have to do some sort of Dutch Rudder work around for their Subway lunch meets. A few dry-entry yelps heralded the arrival of Rammer and Kah and the gang sifted on throgh to the family loop.

While waiting for Sam and Kah in the waste ground (they had actually gone the right way) Dave fixed a flat (slowly) while Tony offered pineapple lumps around. Davo had his muddy hands full with the fix so Tony offered to push one into his mouth. Tones was also kind enough to offer him a pineapple lump... Wonny Jaghorn serenaded the chaps with some didgeridoo on his handlebar and then everyone sifted back up to the car park. On the way the Lynskinator proved his metal with some aggressive passing and dropping the hammer to move away. The gents let him go. He needs a win. Have you seen his clothes? He looks better without them anyway. Phwoooooaaarrrrrrrr!!!!

The heavens opened as the men were packing the cars and it was off to Macdonalds just in time for last orders on the breakfast hungerbusters. More banter, cheap laughs and a thoroughly soiled imitation leather couch, then home.

There nothing quite so magnificent as getting out on the trails with your mates.

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Bushlove at the BP races

As soon as the weather starts getting warmer, the first tests to see who was hibernating over winter, and who has been following Rules #5 and #9 are starting to rolls in. Following the always fun Kapiti series is the upcoming Balfour Pennington series.

This long running Wellington road fixture is made even better this year as it is sponsored by the good sorts at Wheelworks (their euro-roadie-style already filtering down in the new posters). An even bigger bonus to race (and to marshall) is the end of series prize of a brand new set of the Flite 01 wheels.


Rumors have it that Tony "Sandbags McTiger" Keith will be shedding his moniker and racing with the big boys. Clive "Angry Faced but Cuddly" Bennett has been spotted practicing his grimace in reflective car windows while coasting to work. Sam "Sammy Rammer Sanchez" Dungey might make a guest appearance by riding in his stealth commuter gear - complete with rear mudguard.

With the dynamic BLR duo definitely ready to out-camp all the roadies out there, it will be a good show. What will you tell your grandkids when they ask you, "Where were you when Tony finally came out?".

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More racing less modelling photo shoots.

Haven't done a lot of mountain bike racing of late, been too busy with press interviews and glamour modelling photo shoots, so decided to sort all that and get dirty and enter a round of the NDuro, so packed up Trudi and the kids under the guise of a "family holiday" and put the trusty Anthem into the boot.

After a quick stop to take in the view of the magnificent Mount Ruapehu on a stunning morning,




we arrived at the Alpin motel in Rotorua a truely great motel where the owner appreciates the needs of mountain bikers , with his fine hot pools and friendly service, hes even installed a MTB Wash pit and always invites us back after the race for a hot shower before we head home.

Jonny Waghorn/ Wonny Jaghorn can never remember which also decided to rip up the vegas trails on his single speed, so he and the lovely Belinda also stayed at the Alpin, for dinner we went to a wonderful rotorua restaurant and enjoyed the local bugers from the childerns menu.



Actually we didn't, the place looked shit, so went next door for a nice Thai meal.

Race day arrived and it was freezing cold, -1 on the mercury but the sun was shining, was going to be a awesome day. At the race start there was a large contingent from Wellington, presumably all coming up to score the free PNP entry, damn I thought I would be a shoe in for that.

Race starts and I got off to my usual poor start, about 20th into the first long climb, but felt strong so reached into the suitcase and pulled out a large serving of "Joels Tempo tm". I kept passing riders until I came into free air and up ahead all I could see was Garth, T-Rex, and Anton, I passed Garth rolling 8rpm in probably a 42/11 and scampered off up the track to the summit and into the first single track, however my lack of skill and local knowledge soon saw Garth steaming up from behind. I thought great I will stick with him for a bit and I did for 10 seconds before he steamed off into the distance never to be seen again. A couple other riders passed before we hit some more fire road where I could again use some more "Joel Tempo tm" and pulled a couple of riders back with some big ring action on the flat and rolling sections.

I sifted by myself until we hit Big Chevy and again, not knowing the track came across a huge drop off, I barely had time to consider the merits of Tubular vs Clincher tyres for my wheelchair before I was dropping vertically down the face of it, over I might add a large missing chunk, a quick undie check and a look over my shoulder at the cliff face saw a wee smile appear.

I head a panting from behind, no not the usual Bushlove kind, but I had been caught by someone who sat in for about 10 mins before passing when I monged up a small section, it was one of Wellingtons best and NZ Juniors Rep Tom Bradshaw, what a stormer.

Myself and Tom worked very well together for the next hour or so, hitting up the flat sections, I noted a top speed of 60kph on one occasion, until we came into the recently logged trail with a very slick base to it, I monged around a few times with my well choosen summer race tyres and had a couple of small crashes and lost track of Tom and got caught by another rider which pushed me back to 7th place overall, but importantly 1st Masters by about 13mins which I managed to hold till the finish. The 16yr old and the Dinosaur took out 1st and 2nd, with the World Champion SS Legend Garth in 3rd.

On the way home my lovely wife had booked a bach on Himatangi beach for a couple of days, very lovely,
We made shapes on the beach...




and swung on a swing (Yes the kids did have to queue up for a turn).



A nice ending to a smashing long weekend.

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Lycra Lovers.. Beat em' Join em' or Both???

It was that time of year again when everyone walks around complaining of the cold wet weather and not being able to get out to do any training. WTF, get your woolies on and get out in the cold. My favorite would have to be Tom (Nana Kitted Arm Warmers) Lynsky.

Tom you sure are a unique man, we love ya and your different dress sense.

So about 2 months back Angry Bennett drove the hard word home that we need to get back into some of these lunchtime "Smashfests" we used to have (Nothing like Aldred Manor date night) more like Man on Man Grinding... Errrr Ummmm ok similar to Aldred Manor Date night. I digress, so we started up the lunchtime road rides which are in essences 1hr 30mins of mashing pedals while evil eying the rider next to you. Points were given for King Of The Mountain and Sprint points. The usual suspect would turn up (Angry, Tigs and Joel "Dirty Filthy Roadie") with the odd piece of fresh meat thrown in for the pack ravaging. After the first month we all decided this was once again the way to improve our races, so the ride was back on the weekly calendar.

Which brings me to my first race of the season the Kapiti Road Winter Series Lycra Lovers, Race #3. After a little convincing from fellow Smashfest colleagues I decided to step up to A Grade, putting my own meat on the block as lycra fodder. A perfect day dawned and we set off at a leisurely canter. Thinking if we continued at this pace, Tom's Nana could have knitted a whole rugby team some of those snazzy arm warmers before we crossed the finish line. Lap 1 of three and I was enjoying the odd bit of banter going on at the front of the pack. Lap 2 saw Stu Holtham and Silas Cullen steam off the front never to be seen again, closely followed by Daniel Waluszewski (Which sounds like some Swedish massage maneuver), and the way he rode off the front left the rest of the bunch feeling like we have been Swedish Massaged with a rotary hoe.Lap 3 and I was finally learning the courtesy of riding in a bunch, which included being told to go easy on the braking at the back and to slow down when I hit the front... What The....?!?!?!? I'm confused. Brake but don't brake, right got it...! Feeling strong coming into the last few corners I pulled the brainless Mountain Bike maneuver and ripped off the front, 50mtrs clear I sat their waiting for the sprint to start... and start it did. As the Lycra Vacuum Cleaner started up and sucked me in, I held on as best I could to only get past by 2 other riders, Stoked!!! Not sure what happened to Silas Cullen but I'll take the 5th in A Grade and a big smile on my face.

Was great to catch up with some of the usual suspects Ashley "The Media Whore" Burgess, Kane "Good Cop/Bad Cop" McCollum & Rae Rae "The Huck Legend and Tattoo'd Beauti" Morrison (Down from Jafa Land to burgle C Grade)

Great day out by all, looking forward to the BP Road series in just over a week.

Cheers
Tigs

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Kicking Sand In Your Face

Sandbagging.

From Wikipedia:

Deceiving someone by pretending to be weak.

Sandbagging (racing), a driver deliberately drag races or qualifies slower than what the car can actually perform

Sandbagging (budgeting), a manager deliberately overstates financial requirements with the intent of coming in under-budget, thus being praised.

Sandbagging (golfing), a player deliberately plays poorly until establishing a handicap and then raises his money bets, using the established handicap to unfairly win

Sandbagging (climbing), a climber describes a route as being easier than it actually is

Sandbagging (chess, Go, billiards or other such games), a player who deliberately lowers his competitive rating, in order to play in a future event with a lower rating and consequently have a better chance to win.

Slow play (poker), deceptive play in poker

Sandbagging (fantasy sports), a manager intentionally talks down certain players to trade at a discounted "price".



Basically sandbagging is bullshitting about and downplaying one's ability. In biking it is generally applied to downplaying one's ability prior to a race. Classic sandstorm material might include:

"I've got a cold/flu/std/one lung and I shouldn't really even be here. No result from me today"

"I haven't been doing any riding. I'm too busy with work"

"I've put on heaps of weight and my brakes are dragging. I'll just bring up the rear"


"Save me some view from the top. It'll probably all be gone by the time I get there"

And perennial favourite:

"I'll just be happy with a top 10"

There are many masters of the art of sandbagging practicing around Wellington. And many of them have a camp pink BLR jersey in their wardrobe. Probably the worst offender is Tony Keith.

Its no secret that Tony trains. Hard. Has a coach (albeit a lanky camp roadie one), shaves his legs and can beat a lot of the fellas racing Elite. Tones has, in his youth, actually attended a school for gifted elite athletes.

Tones to Clive earlier today:

"Angry you are now the Top Dawg, Elite is where it is at for you. I'll stick to losing Master 1 this year"

We nearly chocked on the sand and couldn't see for the swirling storm of graininess.

Bennett isn't much of a sandbagger. He posts his (record) time on the Makara Road Hill Climb Board, does sub 4hrs round Taupo and knocked out 230km on Sunday, casually racing at Kapiti in the middle of it.

Yet races M2.

He is getting away with it as he is older than Tigs. Maybe there is an unwritten rule saying that once you are over 40 you can't be peer pressured into racing Elite. Still we can try. Although it will be hard for his kids to see him come away from a race without the customary winner's medal.

So, what will August bring. More epic monthly sandstorms as the boys talk about how badly they will suffer in age grade, only to demolish everyone, then feign disbelief at the result? Or will we see some genuine, hearty, competitiveness. Fighting for position in the top grade? We'll see!

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