Makara Peak relay, schizoid style

>> Sunday, December 7, 2008

Many people ask me "Slacky, why is it that year after year you continue to partner with that sexual beast of a man Ricky at the Makara Peak Relay race. Why don't you let someone else have a chance with him"
And to be honest, there is only 1 reason. He's mine bitches.........ALL MINE!!!!
For the first time in known history I turned up to this event, being neither hungover OR sick. Knowing that Davo is past his racing peak and on the downward slide into obscurity, That both Angry and Tony Teo would be still ensconced in roadie mode from Taupo, that Nick was still carrying his winter weight and looking hella bloated and being lumbered with Kah "core sampler" Chan on his team, I'd have to carry the bushlove Flag forth with pride.

But never fear, for I was up to the task with my trusty new steed, bringing forth several more inches than most people.
With a pre-race dash to Karori Park for some last minute weight loss in a flushable toilet, I arrived back to be told instead of the customery start loop around the road, we'd being doing a le-mans start........Ya wot!!!

Bad Scotty!!!!

Upon the starters horn I unleashed the mighty calves of doom and made like Ben johnson in a roid raged sprint. People fell by the wayside by my mighty display of sprint power. Angry was seen to be quivering in fear at the start line and had to be bribed by Tony Teo to even start riding. Kindly upon the turn into the Carpark I let Dr Nick and 1 other gent thru to give them some sort of sense of accomplishment before I smashed them. Naturally of course I was the first into the trails. Whereupon I set the pace/held up Big Gav and Jonty for a while. Much pain and suffering ensued up Koru as the pace was high. Coming ontot eh 4wd track the first time and looking back I saw Alex following me up the road. This simply would do so I opened the taps up a lil bit and pulled out a slightly larger gap (slightly) . Popping out onto the 4wd part way up Aratehi and the gap was fairly decent, but both Dr Nick and Alex gained on me with Dr Nick snaking into the top section of Aratehi ahead of Alex, who was wisely conserving himself for his double lapper. I wasn't so wise, but regardless Dr Nick closed the gap somewhat towards the top. I knew Dr Nick was prolly going to have to walk down the snakecharmer as it's slightly above his skill level, so I was pretty confident of holding my place for the first lap, and rode quickly, but safely back down the hill to the end of the lap where upon I tagged/touched myself for the next lap.
After a quick post touching Ciggie, I headed out again, noting that my heartrate hadn't realy dropped much below 180 -190 for most of the race so far. I wove my way up the magical dance that is Koru at a good pace. Unbeknownst to me a tthe time I was actually second. Big gav got shown the wrong way and had headed down Lazy Fern after having the most massive of leads and tagged jordan who started behind me, and with a typical wainui residents nose for going the wrong actually snaked the shortcut on Koru and getting infront me. I'm not too fussed about it, as he woulda had a nearly 2 min headstart on me anyway if Gav had been shown the right way.
He was however riding like a roadie down missing link and I closed him up (regardless of the fact that Gav was doing a warm down lap and had already passed me), but he kicked another gear and pulled out a bit on the climb up Aratehi. I had been looking back the whole time and not really seeing anyone. Tho 2 corners from Davo Marshalling position at teh start of the top section of Aratehi I glimpsed Mr Ed making like Lance Armstrong. Pah, no worries, I got a big gap. The sustained heart rate of 180-190 was getting to me however and I was starting to feel it a bit. The sneaky bugger pulled a blinder and as I turned into the snakecharmer, he was just jumping out of Aratehi at the top.
Still pretty sure I had him, but knew I still had to ride clean and quick to maintain. I made a few lil mistakes on teh way down cos I was feeling pretty shot, but managed to increase the gap marginally. Luckily he's still more roadie than mountie. Althought I really do think the red jacket and jodpurs suit him.
Came in 3rd overall, so pretty stoked with that. Stoked with the trusty steed as well

That's my report/epic story of the day.
Other than top ride by Lisa in the open, Magnificant Effort by the nearly 40yr old (next week) Shane in doing all the tracks as well, and putting his body well on the line. Josh for doing it back to back, Yoga for getting 3rd, Hayden, for finally having a decent race, and mad props to all the marshalls and organisers, and all the bike shops for giving away tonnes of swag. I gotta say, I'm pretty stoked with my new Emotion Hoody that I won. Y'all should buy some of tryfans swag, it's darn cool. Emotion Gear

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