Possibly the Worst Gag in the world

Or at the very least the most poorly performed one
The instigator of this atrocity was this man.

Of course, he isn't quite an awesome rider either. Rumour has it that at the end of Red Rocks, he ripped the valve out of his tube as his fear of riding the last was too great

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Easter Treats Own Mono

Last weekend was the second round of the ever popular N-Duro winter series in Rotorua's Whaka forest. I was keen to get out for some skids, as I've had a rough couple of months with injury and illness hampering my riding.

Wife features and I headed up on Thursday, to make it less rushed than the normal "up Saturday, home Sunday" trip. I got out for about 3 hours on Friday, covering most of the course and a few extra bits just for fun. I found myself riding through ice near the top of the forest - Billy T and Hot X Buns had lots of iced over puddles, making the riding a little more fun. I also headed out on Saturday with my good freind Dean - we hit a couple of cool trails before getting the bus to the top (I know, what kind of XC jayboi takes a shuttle bus?!) to do some trail riding with Jim and Paul. Lulz were had when the 29er tyres wouldn't fit into the trailer properly! We hit up Billy T, Splitz, Pondys etc... awesome fun. I ended up being out for about 2 hours, and while it was all fairly sifty it certainly wasn't a great leadup to a race... what can I say, I can't help myself in vegas!

The heavens opened on Saturday night, leaving the trails absolutely saturated for Sunday's race. Awesome. I quite enjoy riding in shitty conditions, which is just as well given Wellington's winter this year! For several reasons I didn't manage a warmup at all before the race, and only just managed to down the short black a few minutes before race start. I lined up on the second row, behind a few familiar faces - I remember most of them from watching the Pro/Elite round of the NI Cup on Mt. Vic in January.

Once we were underway I found myself in a good group headed up the first easy climb - 8 of us in total, and going at a fairly good pace. Into the singletrack I was still 8th, and kept the next few riders in sight for most of the first 20 minutes of singletrack. Just like the Highlander, I had local SS legend Garth on my tail. Once we hit the 4wd track I used my abundance of gears (Well, 8 more than Garth has anyway!) to pull out an advantage. I felt strong on the first decent climb, and held the gap to the next group. I hadn't been feeling great on the descents during the week, so was happy to hold position on Billy T. Garth caught me on G-Rock, before having a mechanical slow his progress. I caught a rider along Chestnut Road, leading into the second climb - Hill Road. Again, I felt great on the climb, and managed to pull a decent gap on the two riders who were close behind. Into Hot X Buns for the second descent of the day. I was starting to feel a bit better on the bike, so opened it up a wee bit as I got further down the hill. About half way down I m0nged up the step section and did a mean huck to face. I think the bashguard caught a step, and I ate shit pretty hard (Still clipped in - scorpion style). Once I'd landed the bike landed on my head. Sweet move. That pretty much wrote off any advantage I had over Garth, as I took the rest of HXB pretty easy. After a the long and short courses merged at the bottom of this trail traffic became a bit of an issue - slower riders from the 20K course were in the middle of the faster riders doing the long course. As I turned off into Katore Road, the finial climb of the day, I spotted Garth about 40 seconds up the road. Righto... legs still feeling strong, so I do a bit of smashing and we get to the top together, much to his surprise! Seeing he had no front brake and knows the trails a bit better than me, I figured he should hit Gunna Gotta in front. GG was the best descent of the day, and remains one of my favourites out of anywhere I've ridden. Another couple of core trails to finish off, including Creek Track and Mad if U don't, and we were home.

I ended up 5th in Open Men in 2:21, 9 minutes off the win, and a couple of minutes behind Garth. I'm pretty pleased with my result - not because I was 5th, but because of where I'm at with my training etc... I'd just finished a strength/base block, so wasn't race sharp at all, and I could feel I didn't have any leg speed. The 4 guys who beat me are all off to the World Champs in 6 weeks, so hopefully they do NZ proud.

Next race for me is the 3rd round of the N-Duro Series in Vegas on August the 30th. Hoping for a top 3 there, but not too bothered if I'm OTA, as these aren't target events for me.

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Flats and Flat Whites - A Sunny Sunday Ride

Yesterday was an awesome riding day. Low winds, the sun was shining and not cold. Nine keeners met at Makara for a nice excursion over the hills. There was Slacky, Ashley, Josh Wrigley, Tim Wilding, Sharpie, Harry Potter, Pete Mora, Al Crossling and me.

We headed up Salvation which was plenty muddy and as usual seemed to be about 10km long. Poor Pete was having flattening issues with his tubeless not sealing well but got a tube in and caught us in no time. We skulked along the fence to Scout Hall and Goldmine. Slackattack forgot it was not 1995, and stopped to put his saddle down for Goldmine. Honestly, who drops their saddle for xc descents? I love the Goldmine descent - really tight switchbacks which are tricky to clean.

We climbed up to the Sanctuary fenceline carpark. Tradition demands that I lord it over the pack when we climb the fenceline and cut people off viciously when they try to take me. Yesterday was no different as I pummelled the mojo of Mono and T-Rex before Josh and Mono slipped by on either side as I faded away. We rode Car Parts extension, which ironically has a tv and some other bits dumped along it's length, so more Living Room Parts Extension. This was a great track. A little muddy in places at the moment, but riding and holding up very well. Pete.M and Wonderwoman had to head back at this point. Pete manned up for a muddy and solo descent of Deliverance which was pretty bold.

We ground up the road to the Tip Track entrance and headed down to Red Rocks. I flatted just as I was about to beast Tim and Josh, damn it. The boys waited for me further down which was good of them. We sped enthusiasticly down the rest of the descent and this time I did manage to pilot my rigid past a few of the chaps as it got gnarly, but then flatted again! I shouldered and ran along and held my position! Josh must have been giving it a bit too much brrrraap and he endo'd off the side and got caught by a flax bush. If you know the descent I mean, endoing off the side is a fail move.

We said hi to the seals at Red Rocks and filmed a comedy skit which will probably go down is history as the worst comedy skit ever filmed at Red Rocks. By now we were highly motivated to have a coffee so we cruised along to the Bach and sampled their range of slices, muffins, coffees and milkshakes. Tim headed for home without a coffee, no doubt absolutely smashed from his constant struggle to hold our wheels. After some lulz and trading of stories we rode up Mt Albert and along to Mt Vic. But not before I fixed another flat (I owe ewe a tube BGA ;-). I had never ridden on Mt Albert, it was a nice change. Slacky showed us some of the PNP Mt Vic course. Good stuff. Some cracking sections.
Jawboning on Mount Albert

Then Slackrazor headed for home and Potter, Mono and I headed through town. I snuck my very muddy bike past the guards and onto the train and the boys span back up to Karori, with Dave 'Armstrong' Sharpe knocking off a Makara Grand Loop before bed, and Hinge just knocking off.

Meanwhile Angry was down on the farm. I have added a pic of me down on the farm milking a herd a few weeks back, to prove that I too am a well rounded individual who is no stranger to the anatomy and workings of these huge beasts. Any pics of Hinge with any cows anywhere?

Arty shot of a rainbow while cleaning my bike.

I enjoyed watching BGA try and do up his seatpack zipper for about 5minutes

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Cows & Stuff

Its baby cow season, so having a friend who runs a farm means time to expose the kids to all things cow.
The farm is out past Carterton, so I decided to ride over from Wellington and Trudi and the Kids would drive. Having never ridden over the Rimutakas before I was suprised it didnt take as long as I thought and didnt feel that dangerous either considering the bogans hooning over. Total ride to the farm was 96kms and took 2hours 30 minutes, glorirus day.. nice...

The next day we went "farming".

See how I make pharming cool...



And how not too,
"Help im stuck in the mud in my fashion gumboots."



Hmm, theres a calf in there somewhere..



And here it comes...





A new cow is born, Education complete.





On getting back to the crib in K Town found an awesome get well present from DD in the mailbox!.



Yum..THANKS DD!!, You made my day!.

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Mud, Bubbles and the end of the road.... for now..

Heres a photo of me taken straight after the race, the excitement on my face is obvious

Now for the post....

With a genourous offer from Ma & Pa to look after the kids for the weekend, and a free voucher from the teh Tiger, I packed up the trusty Anthem and headed up to Vegas for Round 2 of the N-Duro series.


Went for a sifty ride the day before with BLB and took her around the moonride course twice, the trails were riding really nice and Mrs Angry was very pleased with her first outing at Vegas.



We stayed at the Rotorua Thermal again, love that place you cant beat sitting in a hot pool in winter.. mmmhhh.... Apologies to the other ladyz in the pool who will be expecting in about 6 months time (Remember BLR babies gestate faster).

On race day we showed up nice an early for the usual pre race banter and coffee and before long we where in the starting gates.
321..and I was off to a cracking start just behind Mono with Gav sitting in behind, Mono was leading up front but dropped back slightly and when they went around a corner I couldnt see anyone so carried on straight.. FAIL #1 wrong way, luckily Gav and Garth yelled at me to turn around so I got a wee bit stuck in the traffic into the single track but not badly.

Was feeling pretty strong, and powered the ascents really well but was being pretty conservative on the descents due to my nagging knee injury, it really does screw with your head when you know that trying to be carefull will make you crash, but you body is screaming out at you that you are a stupid bastard and shouldnt be racing with a dodgy knee.. I never was particually smart when it comes to racing my knee doesnt cause me any pain and its pretty much 100% for racing, but the slightest wrong twist and the patella just slides right off.

So was try to be "carefull" on the descents and hammering home the good news to the people who passed me on the descents on the ascents, at least I was having fun until I hit Hot Cross Bun and screwed up the last descent, I could see the bad line, I knew the good line as this was part of the NI cup 3 lapper, but still took the bad line.. FAIL #2, clipped the edge at speed and went straight down the back much to Thomas Lindups surprise who was right behind , luckily everything was soft so no injury until I climbed back up the bank and twisted my knee badly AGAIN, this being the final straw (more on that later). This was about mid way through the race so I sucked it up and tried to be brave and not cry, the rest of the race went pretty smoothly and I cruised in for a Masters Win and 2 litres of Car Wash, which im stoked about as I didnt think I would considering how badly I rode the descents, but I guess I made up for that, uphill, heaven help anyone racing masters once I get my knee and my descents sorted.. hopefully one day..


Which leads me onto another sad note for me and that I reckon im going to have to get my knee operated on (hopefully soon) to get my kneecap stabilised, I dont think im in the right state to race the PNP series this year which is gutting as I love that series and Tigers going to have an easy series win now. (Waiting for Tiger to pour 3 tonnes of sand in the comments section). But I will return to MTBing, stronger faster with the power of a 300 Spartans. Sometime soon.

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Action Man in the "Upper Hutt Leader"

Good to see some more glorious coverage of cycling in the local papers. This is from the back cover of the Upper Hutt Leader. Thanks to Craig Madsen for getting a bit of biking in there.

They must have been speaking to someone, as I signed on as Davo Bushlove.

I am pulling the same face as I did a couple of hours ago when I handed my eftpos card over at the dentists. It would have been a lot cheaper to buy a new head. I could have got the "Tony Keith" model to increase my luck on date night.

I heard they had a good photo of Nicko "Hinge" Kennedy, but they didn't want to confuse anyone who might have thought it was a review of the new Harry Potter film.




Roll on the next Cross race!

Davo.

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Butchlove Racing Gung-Ho Cyclocross Madcore

Pic courtesy of Craig Madsen

Despite time consuming lobbying of the UCI, the Bushlove Racing Team was not granted a Pro Tour Licence for '09 and as such was unable to prove itself eligible for a place in this years edition of the Tour De France. In many circles this has been seen as a travesty, especially considering Nick's 2nd place in the Makara Grand Loop Evening Time Trial.

So as Saturday morning dawned we were not in Monaco sipping mint julips and preparing for the opening time trial. The lucky ones were readying for Wellington's inaugural Cyclocross race whilst the less fortunte were readying for a day of work or other less worthy endeavors.

Cyclocross has come to Wellington, thanks to the enthusiasm and efforts of Yankee Mike from the Bike Hutt. It has been a long time coming it would seem, as there was a surprising number of cross bike out there, which presumably had not been used in anger in the proper manner before this day.



Our Belgian wannabees were Wonderwoman, Angry, Hinge and Davo. All racing the longer 45min + 1 lap option. we were well supported by Mrs Angry, the Bennett cheering squad of Alana and Alex and of course the lovely Mrs Hinge; who, along with Wonderwoman, showered herself with glory by bringing the baked treats.



We rocked up and customarily signed on with the surname 'Bushlove'. Hinge's handwriting was in question as they mistook him for Nick 'Butchlove'. The organisers initially believed we were all family and with genuine interest asked where our name came from.

Many of the usual suspects were there and it was clear that it was going to be very competitive. The VIC Cycles reps - Big Gav and Jordan - looked hard to beat, and were. Feisty Feist looked pretty keen on his mint Yeti crosser and Alex Revel and Jonty from Revolution Cycles were another fast pair who you'd rather had prior commitments. Tom Bradshaw and Trevor Woodward were their too and their were more than a few fast looking chaps we didn't know.

There were plenty of tasty looking bikes on display. I thought Feisty's YETI was the best, but Mike's Coconino (SS) he lent to Nicko was also very mint. There were also a few nice Surlys and MASI's which looked very stylish. Most people were on mtbs though, but I reckon more crossers will be seen as the sport takes off.

The course was a good one. Seemed like sub 5min laps around a mostly soft grass circuit with 3 or 4 small slippy rises and 3 sections with barriers to leap. A couple of practice laps shagged us severely. It was going to be a strenuous outing.

Summaries of the race itself, straight from the horse's mouths:



Wonderwoman

I find it fitting that my post is last, when i in fact did finish last, but some may say i was first in style. So here we go....arriving at California Park (how fitting) at 9am I was greeted by Hinge, the lovely Mrs Hinge (Sarah) and their asthmatic dog. I was feeling great...hey it's the 4th of July. After a few God Bless Americas and the Pledge of Allegence I was ready to go. For the first time ever i actually started in the front row- this is by no mean because of my very patriotic outfit. The first lap saw me in a demoralizing last- the crowd was ever so supportive and moral was boosted very quickly. Luckliy there were barriers that i flew over them with grace and beauty. I was also supported by some young fans that shouted things like "He likes you!" Nothing like a 5 year old thinking your'e hot... he would fit in perfectly with Bushlove.



As the 22 minute mark rolled around, i realized that by signing up for the 30 minute course i was actually tricked into the 45 minute course. This is the time when the chaffing set in and the 'push' from Davo really felt good. Although Samara was dissapointed that she didn't recieve a 'push' from Davo. Nothing like a grown man biking past you saying "My lycra is getting too tight".

Alas i withstood tough conditions, lapped Marco (he might have been running with a broken seat...) with him yelling "Oh my gosh, i've been lapped by a girl", and found myself enjoying a fabulous morning with some great folks.

Thanks so much to the awesome Americans at Bike Hutt. What a great event....what's the next theme?? I've got a sweet Pocahantas outfit that is dying to be used.

Davo

I don't have a proper CX bike so popped an old rigid on the gearie for this one. I felt good enough and the pink decals really set the fork off. Tire choice was tricky. Ended up with Medusas.



I got holeshot and steamed into the first corner in the lead. I never thought it would last long, and Ken, Jordan, Gav and others, proved me right within less than a minute. I seemed to be riding OK and spent the first half or so in 4th behind Jordan, Gav and Alex. Very close behind was a strong trio of Tom, Trevor and a fast chap on a Niner, who I forgot to say hi to after. I held them off for a few laps, then we traded positions for a few. I was weaker on the 'fitness' bits, but was making very good ground on the hurdles.



Hinge was chasing them and me and eventually all four of them got the better of me. Nick timed his take to perfection on the slippy climb where he executed his trademark "I'm coming inside of you" call, as he nimbly cut my lunch on the climb's top corner.



I then faded a bit. I got the mojo back, but got confused on which lap was last and what a bell lap actually was. I eventually finished with a legendary Superman across the line. But after a bit of chat I decided to do an extra lap on my lonesome to make sure I had not cheated. turns out I was right to finish when I did - On the same lap as the leader.

I thought the highlight of the race was the short open course, which meant you could keep tabs on everyone and cheer and jeer your mates. Cross also lends itself really well to spectating. Thanks very much to everyone who gave me a yell, it was always appreciated! I also enjoyed lapping Ash in her hotpants and loved seeing the Godfather running his laps after breaking his ultralight seatpost - What a hardout!



I enjoyed a few beers and a bit of jawboning afterwards at the Bike Hutt. Nice shop with a good selection of bikes, stock and cheese. Thanks again to Mike, wife Alison and team of helpers for a great time and your hospitality at the shop. Nice one.

The real winner today was Cyclocross.

I say that of course because I didn't frickin' win.

Angry

Knowing there were to be obstacles during a race that required leaping, I knew this race would = FAIL for me as due to knee injuries I have to be careful about things like this as my patella (knee cap for the none hinged readers) has a habit of slipping down to the side of my leg. Also having to ride on my Anthem with Crossmarks would also be an epic fail, so was pleased when Mono offered to loan me his CX bike for the race.
We arrived at the race and did a couple of test laps, was going to be a hard course so lulzzed about before the start.



BANG the race starts and FAIL I couldn't get into my SPD's damm, so most of the pack got away from me, so hammered down and picked most of them up, and was just behind Nick and Davo, I passed Davo who appeared to be asleep and came around to the first hurdle, and lost about 50 metres in my lame ass attempt to jump over it.



That was pretty much my how the rest of my race went, sprint and overtake everyone, to fail at the obstacles and have them all pass me again. That was until the last lap where I finally figured it all out and tried something a wee bit different.......



I managed to catch up to Davo and whilst he wasnt looking I bunny hopped all of the obstacles, even managing a handgrab mid air, was truly awesome I'm surprised there where no photos of this. So having left Davo behind I passed a couple of other riders sight unseen and came upon Nick again at the triple hurdles, this time I powered the shanks and popped a huge wheelie right past him again while he wasn't looking, I then Danny Mackasil style hopped the bike over all the obstacles with a backflip over the 3rd one to rub it in and smashed it home for 3rd place!!!.. wow awesome result.. maybe my CX skillz aren't so bad after all, sadly for the hinged 4 eyed one, he needs some new glasses and a re-lube of the hinge if he expects to beat me next time at a CX event.



Hinge

Awesome to see Cross racing finally come to Wellington and turned out to be a great day for a race. I’d sold my Tricross a few weeks prior (I’d like to think me selling my cross bike and cross all of a sudden becoming cool aren’t linked) but Mike AKA Yankeehotelfoxtrot AKA Crosstafarian, was kind enough to lend me his beautiful Cococino custom ss cross bike. As he is a little taller than me, I switched the stem for a shorter one but otherwise the bike was spot on. While I doubted I’d be competitive, at least I’d look good.

A really good turnout made it to the start line with at least a dozen real cross bikes coming out of the woodwork along with some handy XC racers. Right from the gun I was in a world of hurt.



Even on flat, the gearing was challenging but at least I had my dismounts and run-ups pretty sorted. In particular the hairpin run-up was my main advantage and one of the few opportunities I had for passing. After an ok start over the next 5-6 laps I put in the hard yards to catch the bunch of Davo, Tom, Trevor and Bryce while Jordon, Big Gav and Alex rode away. I finally caught the bunch half way through the race taking Davo in classic Bushlove (Butchlove?) style. From there Davo faded while Tom, Bryce and I stayed pretty close. By the end I had tears welling up and had vomited up in my mouth a few times. With only a slight exaggeration I think I can say it was the hardest 45mins racing of my life. After an epic battle Tom got the better of me on the second to last lap so (I think) I came in 5^th place. More importantly though was first Bushlover across the line despite their fancy geared bicycles. Not only were they all beaten by a four eyes, but they all got lapped too. Shame.

Spectators had a great time too. If you’re too soft to race you should at least come along to heckle. Cheers Mrs Hinge and Popster for your support and muffins. Ash even had her own support crew of young Bushlove fans who loved her costume.

Belgian beer and baguettes back at Bike Hutt (which I recommend you all czech out) finished off a cracking day. There’s talk of it becoming a series so if you didn’t make it on Saturday make sure you make the next race. To steal a quote it’s 'pure sweet hell'.

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And that was the Team's first cyclocross outing. First of many. Thanks to Tama, Oli and Colin for some of the pics from this set on Vorb.

Leonidas Of Sparta.

CX Team Manager and Head Soignuer (whatever that is).

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