Hugh Jass "The Kentucky Wonder", rides again for Bushlove

After laying low for a couple of months I decided it was time for some laughs, in the form of a race. The previous couple of months have been fairly cruisy, mixing up a couple of road rides with some fun trail riding. Although I'd participated in the Wild Wellington event for fun I wasn't taking any racing too seriously at this stage, instead preferring skids and wheelies over xc jeyboi antics of olde. I'm in the enviable position of being the only ring-in for the Bushlove Racing Team. They call me up when their members are weak and slow. With Tiger OTA, Davo pulling some sort of self-sabotage and Hinge no-showing it was left to Angry, Slacky (Definitely ginger) and their mate Hugh to carry the day.

After finishing breakfast (2 drumsticks and some fries - I like to dip them in my potato and gravy) and fitting the largest tyres I could possibly find I rocked up and registered for the race. Being the last round of the series I was expecting a larger pro/elite group than normal, which ended up being around 10 riders. Awesome. After a bit of pre race banter we were asked to line up on the road. I looked to my right and saw some pretty fast dudes beside me. Crap. Worse still, the 2 fastest guys (Ed and Stu) were racing for the overall, not just the day. This was gonna be fun.

As the hooter went off, I somehow managed to get my horrendously heavy wheels up to speed and headed up the road. After leading the first few hundred metres I expected to blow like a ginger, but actually felt OK. Must have been the secret herbs and spices. I sat on Mr. Ed's wheel into the singletrack, and stayed there for the first 20 minutes or so. As soon as the proper climbing started up to the summit of Makara Peak things changed.

My lack of race fitness started to show - Ed started gapping me, then Stu came past, then the ever improving Alex stormed past. Shit. Here we go... I churned away, trying to stay away from the folk behind me - I didn't want to look back. After the first climb I started to come right though, and had a good ride down Leaping Lizard right to the bottom. From the top of the first climb I rode solo... constantly looking ahead, seeing if I'd pulled any time back on the guys in front, and when I wasn't doing that I was looking over my shoulder hoping for a top 5 finish. Before riding up Missing Link I grabbed a wing out of the pocket of my riding top, hoovered that shit and topped it off with some coleslaw. I think the sugar content of the "coleslaw" would have been enough to get me through to the end.

The couse was great, and we were able to ride Sally Alley in the "wrong" direction which was a novelty. After another tough climb to the summit we dropped down the northern side of the Peak, only to ride straight back up to the top. Twice. The climb was short but sharp - I used one of the Colonel's refresher towels on my forehead to wipe the grease away. I was still on my lonesome, with no idea where the other riders were around me. As I reached the summit for the fourth and final time I spied Alex along the top of Ridgeline. It was a pretty decent gap, maybe near a minute, and I didn't have any intention of making much time back on the descent. On I went though, and still had the energy to attack the wee pinches along the top in my big ring (Although it's a small, girly big ring. Still, I'll take it). I downed the last of my Mountain Dew in my bottle (I had 2 free refills). I had great fun down ridgeline, ripping some meaty drifts and even getting both wheels off the ground simultaneously at the same time more than once. Madcore. The rest of the descent was awesome fun but uneventful - more drifto action and some skids thrown in.

As I headed down Koru Dry Feet I saw third place about 10 seconds ahead. Hmmmm..... says I. Get to the road, put it in a biggish gear and smash it. Look up, he's a little closer. Head back down, legs keep going. Repeat. Stoked to blow past with about 300m to the finish. Felt a bit rude just riding past, but I was in a hurry. The Colonel was beckoning me. I ended up about 3 minutes back from 2nd place, with Ed another 3 minutes up the road taking out the win and the series.

HJ

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Training Ride Audit

Yesterday, in between tasks of busy work, I could not help noticing that the day was very nice and I should be riding. I heard that a couple of Good Roadies were heading round the bays so decided go and audit them.

I rocked up with my accountant's riding gear on and proceeded to carry out the audit.

Shaved legs. Check.
Powertap hubs. Check.
Frowns. Check.




The first few kms passed without incident or enjoyment. These men clearly seemed like Good Roadies. I checked another box on the audit sheet I had in the pocket on my neatly pleated grey suit slacks.

I made light conversation whilst trying to keep my slippery leather soled accountant shoes on the pedals, and discovered that whilst one Good Roadie was doing Taupo this year the other was not. The reason given was it was not something you would do unless you would annihilate the field and the clock.


Not riding for fun. Check.

Not wishing to embarrass the Good Roadies, or suffer the indignity of having my helmet peak blow off in the wind, I remained at the back into the headwinds on the Miramar peninsular. I noted the Good Roadies had smooth pedalling styles. Check.

My accountant clothing was becoming stuffy. I looked around to make sure no other accountants were watching, and undid my top button and sleeves.

I checked the box for appropriate hand signalling of road hazards. Good courtesy from the Good Roadies.

While placing the audit sheet back into my pocket, I noticed that the Good Roadie on the front had suddenly pulled up and moved right. I was just about to retrieve the sheet and put a red strike through the box for Bunch Etiquette and Safety, when Good Roadie Bennett touched wheels and rag-dolled into the tarmac. I hurriedly withdrew my hand from my pocket just in time to steam into him and fly over the bars. Fortunately I had my accounting shoes on and managed a vaguely controlled leap frog of the bars and mostly landed on my feet. Thanks be to the Gods of Debits and Credits that I wasn't wearing clip-ins which would have seen me also ploughing the field of tarmac with my face.

Good Roadie Bennett recovered himself quickly and we moved off the road. Check. His wheel was trashed but some enthusiastic smashing against the curb got it turning in the frame.





On my audit sheets there is a box for Other Comments and Recommendations.

I completed it thus:

The auditor notes that sitting up and veering right in order to vigorously pass wind, is not recommended if you are on the front of a line of Good Roadies and/or Administrators. Best practice for future rides would be to simply pass the wind in one's original position.

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Guest Post - BGA's Big Game Hunting Trip

We like getting random Guest Posts to put on the blog. If you have something funny, interesting or both, flick it through to banter@bushloveracing.com and we'll see if we can flick it in.

Regards from Sparta. Leonidas

Epic adversary and cobber, Al Crossing writes:



To consider myself a true adventuring gentleman, I pride myself on taking on any challenge. Nothing challenges a man more than a duel with a savage beast in the jungle. But this duel would prove to be quite a challenge.

It has been a lean season for me out hunting on the plains of Wellington single track this season, I have even returned home from two trips empty handed! Returning home once from a hunt is embarrassing enough, but on the fourth hunt of the season in Belmont the chain on my weapon broke and I returned home empty handed. To make matters worse those pesky savages in the Bushlove tribe were taunting me. This would not do.

The loudest of the Bushlove tribe was the infamous Tiger. He had managed to land a few wins so far this season, but as he was not hunting with the elite that was like shooting fish in a barrel. The taunting continued in the weeks leading up to the final big hunt of the series in the jungles of Makara Peak. Tiger continued his taunts challenging me to a duel in the elite ranks. The hunt was on now!

So as the day’s hunt began in the Makara Peak jungle, it was easy to get distracted by the charging Antelope and a rather fast Hippopotamus. But it was the Tiger I was hunting today, so I remain focussed on my duel. I never let him out of sight on the climbs, and knew that I could always pull him back on the descents, as he descended like a pussy not a Tiger. I quietly stalked him on the climb up Leaping Lizard, but the old Witch Doctor Marco shouted a warning to Tiger so he knew I was closing in. I had to strike! So I chased Tiger down Leaping Lizard and managed to strike a blow at the creek crossing at the bottom. I fired off shots all the way up Possum Track as Tiger panicked. He was mortally wounded.

But the hunt was not yet over; in the process of pressing home my advantage along the wild Nikau Valley I punctured a tire on my hunting bike. Knowing that I could lose my advantage over Tiger, I quickly got my hunting bike going again and continued on my way. The rest of the hunt was all about surviving the wild jungle winds and trying to open the advantage on a wounded Tiger who would surely have been fiercely chasing me.
But victory was to be mine. I returned to the Karori Base camp victorious. Many had not given me a chance against the mighty Tiger, but little did they know this metrosexual (not ghey) strawberry blonde (not quite ginge) young gentleman was ready for the challenge.

Time to celebrate with a nice cup of tea. Till next time chaps, farewell!

BGA

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Wild Wellington 09 - 12hr Relay Lolfest

An excellent day's racing and messing about at the third Wild Wellington Relay. Not a wordy post as we got a few good images which have a good go at summing up the day we had.

Special thanks from us to the Barnes family who made a wonderful "Go Bushlove" sign which they and Marco waved encouragingly at the Alexandra Road saddle which really spurred us on! Thanks guys - legend stuff. Thanks Barnes crew!

Huge thank you's to the Godafather - Marco, for his efforts, not marshalling, but running alongside all Bushlovers on the climb to Alexandra saddle, shouting encouragement, waving the "Go Bushlove" sign and more often that not, spanking us with it. It made a huge difference to our pace up that pinch late in the afternoon. You're a pal, Marco!

More special thanks to the lovely, Keryn, (Mono's long suffering wife) for supporting the Bushlove and R&R teams so well and bringing out yum food including bringing back a couple of chooks and the worlds supply of bread rolls - Thanks Keryn!

Tones reads horoscopes to the first lap wonders as he hits the velodrome in top spot.







Mr Nomember warms up for his 3rd & 4th lap duties.





The HQ. Wouldn't trust those R&R boys pitching a tent. This canopy looks like a wizard's sleeve







Malaysian style icon, Kahpow, flogs the rules of fashion to death as he mixes his iconic pink Bushlove sleeve trim with a nasty orange hat.

BGA outdid himself by not DNFing his whole team through some random mechanical or health fail



Ed loves Gavs new 18lb racebike and has clearly been to "This is it" at the movies.



Ash raced for sponsors OYB but regularly enchanted us with her presence.

In the hotness stakes, Ash is not too shabby, but this guy really takes the cake.








Ed laughs nervously as he imagines getting destroyed by Mr November (in costume).







John Wayne never wore lycra - And neither does Dave.



Warming up with a glute 'massage' from Fairy Boy and a taste of Lynsky's rank Double Brown student water.

Rose and Jackson won the 6hr Duo! The R&Rrrrrrrrrrrrrr Pirates!









Nick holds up fingers to show how many weeks it took him to grow his shambolic Movember effort. You may have to click to enlarge to see it?

Davo's DIY lamp was like the sun, and required a banana peel to aim it in the right direction.



Mono admires the fine layer of accumulated dust on his granny ring. He cut out his laps (around 14) without the use of this redundant crank accessory.





Worth three pics. Mono joins the "John Wayne never wore lycra" camp with some fine jeans. Complete with traditional plastic bags ftw.

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Say hello to Mr Movember

Ginger, unpopular with the ladies and frankly more than a little bit gay. No I'm not talking about Slacky but my shit moustache.

If I have to go through a month of ridicule and questioning whether I've been through puberty then the least you can do is give some coin to support Mens health.

Go to http://nz.movember.com/mospace/401336/ to support the cause.

Chur chur

Nick

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Quick Low Down on the Belmont Hoedown

Pic - Nige Sanders

Lovely sunny day.
M1 horn blows.
Tiger rides poorly, fluffing the roots and clay corners on Danzig.
Anyone within earshot laughs at him.
Davo and Potter pass Tiger near green shed.
Hogwarts Express pulls smoothly away from the station and disappears, just like in the film.
Tiger rides away from Davo with Hiskey up Old Coach Rd.
Clive trails Davo.
Davo and Clive pass Tiger below Pony Club with a flattie. He fixes with a tube Davo forced him to carry.
Briefly Clive is in his traditional place of 2nd (Aka Bridesmaid)
Tiger steams back past Davo and then Angry Clive.
Places all hold steady at the front.
Meanwhile further back, Slackshanks amorously 'rewards' a marshal which results in time loss and likely re-direction of much needed blood.
Meanwhile on last Hill Rd climb, a crank arm falls off the Hogwarts Express and is banged back on with a rock.
BGA is walking Hill Rd after busting a chain with his epic power. He is a Good Roadie but yet to complete an mtb race.
On last Hill Rd climb Hayden catches Davo, thinking foolishly he was Harry Potter.
Davo hurriedly despatches Hayden and carries on to finish 4th behind Clive, Tiger and Hiskey.
Despite hilarious crank fail, the Hogwarts Express wins Senior Men and coveted "Fastest Bushlover" title.
Tiger secures M1 series title.

Tiger breaks out the Eski' and many beers. He moves up to Elite next round, to read BGA his horoscope.
Mono arrives in fetching Bushlove jersey which colour codes well with his new, but well used roadie.
Lynsky joins in for the de-brief and beery lulz. Czech out his ramblings here.
Vin Diesel, who grabbed 5th in M1, wins a Turbo Trainer. Coming soon to a Trade Me auction near you.
Much joviality as we cheer the podium getters incl. our Potter, Tigs and Angry.

Particularly great rides from Ed, pushing Stu.H to a tight finish. MJ for a steaming ride in the Senior Women and Rachel's win in the slightly more mature ladies class. And young whippersnapper, Jonty, who won the Yoofs class by a tiny margin and also put up with much ridicule for his swims in the creeks the previous week. Well done to everyone else for campaigning across the Belmont tops too.

Big thanks to the Godfather led race management team and the trail pixies who fixed up so much of Danzig.

Awesome outing. Plenty of pics and the full results, here, on the PNP website.

Next news should be from the Wild Wellington Relay. Where BLR is matching up against plenty of other strong teams for a day of lolling around, sausage eating and tire buzzing.

Thanks
BLR.

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Introducing Mr November.

Give a big hello to Mr November.

Styling by http://www.wardrobeflair.com , official stylist of the BLRT.

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