>> Wednesday, December 8, 2010
For the Spartans, the main event at the recent Makara Peak Festival was the ever epic Grand Loop Challenge. 30 warriors turned up to try their metal against the impressively loose, dusty and rocky trails to the summit and back down Ridgeline.
Commander Crossling Ran the show with jockstrap-like support from Rammer and Bushlove’s Amazonian Arizonian, Ashley.
This was the latest opportunity for sultry shysters, Davo and Wonny.J to knock heads. With Davo one up in there epic odyssey of rivalry, Jaghorn would be looking for a victory in this race within a race to preserve his debatable honour.
First man out was lean bean, Stu ‘Holeshot’ Houltham, followed at 20secs by Lanky Wildman, Tom ‘hot chicks on his Facebook’ Bradshaw, then Fastest Man, then Wonny Jaghorn, Davo and NCX2.
Fastest Man reeled in the human golf club, T-Rex, on the early climbing and continued his rampage to dish out some good news to Holeshot Houltham on Aratihi. Stu was later heard to be baffled as to where Ed found 40secs on him, and blamed his 20hrs of training that week. Here at Sparta Towers we call bullshit on this as nobody has ever trained for that long in one week and to our knowledge it is not humanly possible.
Ed takes the win with a new record time.
Meanwhile Davo, rocking his (Wildman’s old) Ibis Tranny singlespeed, was chasing Wonny hard to get on par before the descending. Luckily he caught Wonny and Tom at the same time on Koru and dispatched Wonny sharply lest any spectator see him exchanging pleasantries with a rival, especially one with pink heart shaped sunnies and zebra print lycra tights.
Wonny chased hard but was kept a couple of corners back on Aratihi by Aldred, who was motivated to stay clear of hard charging Clive NCX2 Bennett, who was coming strongly from behind. Eventually NCX2 collected both the retro rivals once he found his stride after bloodying himself going uphill in Sally Alley.
Dave led Jaggerhorn onto Ridgeline and they both stalled the singlespeeds in the gale force crosswinds on the rocky pinches and did some pathetic hiking, but picked up Clive on the main descent despite a delicate dismount from Davo. Aldred drew out a gap with some pinball dh styles to take 4th.
Ashley meanwhile was cutting out a fast lap to win the Goddess section. Unfortunately there were few ladies prepared to take on the loop and plans are afoot to remedy this low attendance with initiatives from Sparta Towers such as placing Horn Dogs like Kah Chan and Sam Rammer Dungey as strategic topless cheerleaders around the course.
Everyone wants MOAR Grand Loops and intensive planning is underway at BLR HQ to deliver them.
Excellent pics from Ridgeline by Damien Steele-Baker here
Moar pics of the fine day by Andy Kingpin here
Results on P3 of this thread
Leonidas. BLR Press Sec & Fluffer